June 9, 2011

How to say “secondhand embarrassment” in other languages:

pena ajena (Mexican Spanish)

vergüenza ajena (Spanish Spanish?)

vergonha alheia (Portugese)

fremdschämen (German)

myötähäpeä (Finnish)

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May 18, 2011


May 4, 2011


March 15, 2011

How far can you take this metaphor?

How far can you take this metaphor?

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March 13, 2011

What’s more embarrassing, this weakass cover of Wuthering Heights*, or me thinking, “this bitch has never experienced love like Cathy loves Heathcliff!”

*especially in 0:28 where she sings, “I loved you too” like she’s saying, “I love you too, Mom!” at the end of a telephone call.

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March 12, 2011

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilightseries.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.

Rosemarie Urquico (via kblitz)

(via conversationslips)

Rosemarie no longer has an active blog, but she can be found on Facebook here: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/profile.php?id=585211028

To see the post about how she was found, please go here. Thanks to Jonathan  for searching!

(via themonicabird)

I dare you to read the whole thing without vomming.

(Source: blitzkreigkate)

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February 24, 2011

From the film Tampopo, which is great not only because of the egg sex and the oyster make-out scenes, but also because of the director’s omelette skills.

[via thedailywhat]

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How do you summarise our go-to for secondhand embarrassment? Nerdy recent virgins document sexual experiences with first partner to educate and titillate nerdy virgins? MIT undergrads devise disappointingly not-too-scientific tests to discuss condoms and sex to an audience of envious virgins: other MIT undergrads? Children?

To our chagrin, the blog is no longer updated, (firsthand embarrassment?) but the memories live on:

Anal sex how-to:

…start by sticking a single finger (covered in lube) into your partner’s anus.

Sexy. Go on.

Science time: The anus is a sphincter, which is muscle tissue that can contract to effectively squeeze poop out. Think of it as a valve.

When I think of a valve, I think of bicuspid valves in my heart or something. Now I am thinking about a penis fucking my heart valves. A penis, covered in poo, fucking my heart valves.

So the real pleasure of anal sex will come from moving the penis along the sphincter (think of it as a ring moving up and down on the penis). Both Veronica and I feel intense pleasure from this motion, so we promise it works!

I have no words. Just go read the rest.

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